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Speak Sweeter: The Words We Use

November 2, 2009

This Sunday we continued our Live Like You Were Dying message series. John-David delivered the message. It made me think about my household growing up. It was a pretty rough place when it came to words. The dinner table was typically a time for barbs and personal jabs. It became a, “who could make fun of the other brother the most” contest.

When we had kids I was determined to make the kitchen table a safe place. I didn’t want to give them a hard time but instead encourage them. What I have discovered is that desire to make fun of other people, it doesn’t just happen because it is modeled. No it happens because it is a part of our broken flesh.

We have always tried to keep the dinner table a positive place but even with our modeling our kids are at an age where they want to attack each other. They want to cut the other down. It is certainly not a place where people speak sweeter.

So we attempt to teach our children better knowing that the broken flesh pushes them in a different direction. I worry about parents who think some how they can protect their children from such behavior, as if we can build a world where no one says anything mean or hurtful to their kids.

We have made it an effort in our home and still it creeps in. I know people who take their children out of public schools. I know of people who try to protect their children from every hurtful word. They try to punish every negative thing said to their child. NO only is this unreasonable it misses the fact that their own child is saying hurtful things. No, not because you haven’t taught them any better. It is because they have a sin problem. They are broken. They are not perfectly little angels they are sinners in need of a Savior.

So please stop trying to protect them. They are their own worst enemy. Do teach them. Teach them that, “The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21 NIV)

Stop acting like it is always the other child’s fault. Both are probably to blame. Start living with realistic expectations. Trying to protect them is probably the worst thing you can do.

James said in James 1:1 that we should consider it pure joy when we face trials. Maybe we should see these times as an opportunity to grow. A time to turn the other cheek. A time to speak sweeter.

One Comment leave one →
  1. Wendy permalink
    November 2, 2009 8:53 pm

    Oh, that is SO HARD! I always see myself as my childrens’ protector; that it is my duty to protect them from harms way, and sometimes even from themselves, or otherwise their future lives are in jeopardy. On the other hand, I was raised by an over-protective mother, and felt suffocated by her most of my childhood, so I can see the point you are trying to make.

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