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The next to last recorded elders meeting

April 30, 2007
by

A humorous parody for fun – don’t take it too seriously now.

The following takes place after the hour spent discussing the alcoholic content of the local wine, really is no more than grape juice, Welch’s that is, and a discussion over whether or not the orphanage can be helped from the church treasury.

Elder 1: Okay, what is this I am hearing about the East Troas Parkway church of Christ?

Elder 3: Well it seems that they were having a gospel meeting…

Elder 2:
What can be wrong with a gospel meeting? Everyone knows we have scriptural authority to plan gospel meetings.

Elder 3: Hold on, I’m not finished. Paul was talking at the meeting…

Elder 1: Paul? You mean the Saul guy? I hear trouble coming on this one, isn’t he affiliated in some way with Richland Hills?

Elder 3: Please guys, let me finish. So Paul got together on the first day of the week to take the Lord Supper on the authorized day and you know Paul can go long, well he went past midnight and after some insignificant occurrences they took the Lord’s Supper.

You understand what this means. They took the Lord’s Supper on Monday, to say it just blows my mind.

Elder 2: Those liberals, always tinkering with the pattern. I mean how hard is it to see the clock on the back wall and stop and get the pinch of cracker and swig of grape juice from the metal trays before the clock strikes 12:00?

Elder 1: Goodness gracious, this apostasy is just spreading like wildfire. What innovation will they come up with next?

Elder 3: That is why I brought it up. We need to talk about it because some of our members have family at East Troas. They are really concerned when they hear this stuff. They want to know what they can do to save these family members from impending doom. What are we going to do?

Elder 1: Elder 2 you are awfully quiet tonight, what do you think?

Elder 2:
Listen, this just grieves my soul. They have gone on ahead of us and are no longer abiding in the teaching of Jesus, Sunday means Sunday. I mean our members with family there won’t even be able to talk to them or have them into their home.

I just don’t know what to say, what if this spreads?

Elder 3:
I think its time to talk about a journal again or paper, something with a good name like Sword of the Spirit or something, maybe Contending for the once Delivered Faith.

Elder 1:
Well guys I have been looking for a command or example for a journal like you are talking about but I can’t find any, but then I decided it is more like an expedient, kind of like the pitch pipe. You know the pitch pipe, the instrument we use in worship. This is allowable because it is a short burst and only aids worship. This document will only aid in our going into all the world, see what I mean?

Elder 3: Elder 1 now I know why you have the number one. That is a great idea. Will write up this group and blackball this innovator Paul, we will get this taken care of in no time. Start the printing presses.

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. your father permalink
    April 30, 2007 10:18 pm

    This is a word from your father.

    As Bevo, the mascot for Texas, says in his song.
    ” I will lift up my eyes to the make of mountians I can’t climb, I will lift my eyes to the calmer of the oceans raging wild, I will lift my eyes to the healer of the hurt I hold inside.”

    Let go of the 30 plus years of CofC teaching. Keep the love of the Lord. Lift your eyes to the Lord.

    Thanks for the Cd. I love you. (so does God, Lori, nathan, Madison, Morgan, and lots of other people)

    Have a great day.

  2. May 1, 2007 3:10 am

    Just having some good honest blog fun dad.

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